Getting angry is one thing; getting angry often is another. Psychologists consider angering a valve that hides other emotions such as fear, sadness, and anxiety. We feel bad, are stuck, and have no solution to a problem, so we explode. Is it useful or harmful? So, without further ado, let’s dive into this blog and learn some things everyone should know about anger.
1. What is anger?
It’s an explosion, a storm, a tempest that arises because your emotions are too strong. Someone cuts you off while you are driving; you explode. It’s not so much because the driver is an idiot, but rather because, for a few milliseconds, you were afraid there was a risk of an accident. In reality, anger is a defense reaction: you are approaching my territory, you are putting me in danger, I explode to get you away.
2. Positive aspects
Even though anger seems instantaneous, it is the result of an accumulation. If we were to express what we feel on a daily basis, we would remain zen. Still, since we can’t always express our deepest feelings, getting angry sends the message, “enough is enough!” Another benefit of anger at the moment it occurs, we feel like we are regaining control of a situation; we regain a sense of security.
3. Negative aspects
But getting angry is sometimes harmful. Anger tires the person who makes it and the one who receives it. It can leave after-effects and even break up a friendship because you get less close to a person who gets upset for nothing. It is also important to know that it is easy to get the wrong target: it is easier to get angry at a person who is close to you. Moreover, to get angry is to enter into the demand: “I want this because I want it”. In these moments, we take into account our reality, but we forget the others.
4. Angry people
The trouble is that some people (is it their temperament or their past?) tend to get angry often. These people may be successful in some aspects of their lives, but they still feel that they are not “good enough”, hence the tendency to explode. Anger anesthetizes psychological and physical suffering by secreting certain hormones: it numbs. It also serves to establish a distance between oneself and others: they won’t get too close to me if I explode! Angry people may be depressed or lonely.
5. Tools to calm down
One thing is certain when you are hot-tempered, it is beneficial to learn to detect your anger before it breaks out. The first thing to think about is the physical signs: feeling hot and breathing short alert. By paying attention to your breath, you can slowly regain your composure. If you can step back and ask yourself very quickly: “What is behind my anger? Is it sadness, fear? What is my unsatisfied need?” we can calm down.
Some psychologists suggest counting backward: one million three hundred thousand twenty-two, one million three hundred thousand twenty-one… Very good for taking distance. In the long term, meditating, dancing, singing, drawing, and practicing certain sports can channel our anger. Of course, the truly angry will benefit from an in-depth investigation of themselves. In short, we need to do something about it to direct this energy creatively.
6. And as a social group?
We would be consensual, according to the authors of the book The Quebec Code: “No bickering in the cabin” would be one of our modus operandi. Even when it comes to road rage, Quebecers are less likely than other Canadians to get angry, according to a 2015 survey. If you recognize yourself as being too consensual, remember that it’s not a good idea to suppress your feelings for fear of making waves. Like any emotion, anger has a place in our lives. Don’t we say, “After the storm comes the good weather”?
Looking for help?
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By taking psycho-education with counseling, they will work through your anger problems, help you put your feelings into words, and make connections between different aspects of your life. Their goal is to teach you how not to be blocked by your own reactions! So, what are you waiting for? Give them a call today and let them help that you need and deserve by booking an appointment.